Forgive Me (Not)
by Captain Risu
Summary: They were two broken people standing at the edge of the unknown together. [Traitor AU/Internship Arc Spoilers]


**A/N: ****BIG THANKS to Momo from the Camp Kacchako server! She helped me get through the last stretch of this fic with her lovely insight and awesome sense of humor~ **

**Theme Song - **_BLUE _by _Hiroyuki Sawano_

* * *

When Bakugou emerged into consciousness, the knocking wasn't what first got his attention. The soft shuffle of the curtains did. He hated this new oversensitivity. If only for a moment, his mind would return to the League's gloomy bar; restrains digging at his shoulders; the faint smell of smoke and spilled alcohol assaulting his lungs with each breath. Three months later and it would always destroy his mood. After seeing the time was twelve minutes past four in the morning, a wave of anger washed over him too.

_Who the fuck?_ He thought, throwing the covers aside.

The silhouette outside his window was too short to be his redhead neighbor. Bakugou tugged the sliding door open. Cold air rushed in the room with an evening fury befitting the beginning of winter, and the curtains parted to reveal Uraraka.

She took a step back, her eyes wide. "I… um… I'm really sorry, Bakugou! It was a mistake. I… I-I'll leave now!" Turning around, she tried to walk away with the elegance of a robot.

"Take responsibility first, you moron." He sighed, following her out on the balcony. "What are ya doing here?"

The freezing tiles nipped at his bare feet and he winced. Nothing he couldn't endure as long as it led to the bottom of this awakening. However, Uraraka made no attempt to face him as seconds came and passed. His toes were half-numb by that point, so Bakugou focused on her back instead. She wore their gym uniform and had her hair tied into a messy ponytail. This get-up was usually reserved for joining his combat training, and she hadn't been sporting it earlier.

"I messed up is all," she finally said. "Thought it was Deku's."

"Deku's room isn't on this floor," he said. "You know that already from following the nerd like a lost puppy all the time. So do me a favor and cut the crap."

Maybe someone else would have had the patience to hear her out. It had been the day of Sir Nighteye's funeral, after all. To brighten up the mood, the class had declared a movie night. They were all laughing by the time Bakugou returned to his room with Uraraka being her usual bubbly self. Even if it had been an act, she wouldn't come to him for emotional support. He wasn't her friend.

"It was an honest mistake. I'm sorry if I bothered you," she said. Her tone wasn't apologetic at all.

Dread dropped like a stone in Bakugou's stomach. He suspected foul play but the League was on the run. They wouldn't dare to infiltrate the school. His mind reminded him of a different scenario; one he had been contemplating over for the past few months.

On the third morning of his house arrest, after his big fight with Deku, Bakugou had been prepping for his chores when he heard voices coming from Aizawa's room. Overcome by curiosity, he pressed his back against the wall and glanced inside. The laptop's monitor illuminated two figures, leaving the rest of the room shrouded in darkness. Finding his homeroom teacher still awake wasn't as surprising as Present Mic being there. He never visited this early.

"There is nothing unusual so far," Aizawa said.

Present Mic yawned, stretching his back against the chair. "Everything is too quiet for my taste. Think they got scared, Eraser?"

"Or maybe they are laying low like the rest of the League." He dragged a hand across his face with a groan. "I don't want to suspect my students, Mic. They are all promising kids."

"They also love getting into trouble. Picking a fight right under your nose, who would have thought! Must have been quite the show."

"This isn't a laughing matter. We don't have room for slip-ups like that anymore. Everyone's eyes are on us and we haven't made any progress in locating the traitor. It was _your_ idea so concentrate."

_Traitor._

The word caught Bakugou's attention hook, line, and sinker. The teachers were suspecting one of them to be leaking information to the Villains. He edged closer to the door so he wouldn't miss a thing.

"Yes, sir! Anyway, the problem children and the other four are not on the list." Present Mic mumbled a couple of names, scratching them off the file in his lap. "Come to think of it, most of your girls have stealthy Quirks. Hagakure is invisible. Asui can climb walls. Jirou can hear _through_ walls."

"The conference hall is sound-proof and an invisible person would be too obvious for a mastermind like All for One."

"Just because it's obvious, doesn't mean we shouldn't consider it. Although, if we absolutely have to think outside the box…" His pen stopped mid-air. "I'd say Uraraka."

"Why?" Aizawa asked with a perplexed tone.

"It wouldn't cross your mind, right? She looks innocent enough. But you know how the saying goes: _Don't judge a book by its cover_. Of all the kids, she's the only one with a clear motive."

"Lots of Pros are doing it for the money, and as far as I know, we already have a decent arrangement with her parents over the tuition."

"Relax, it was only a guess." Present Mic raised his hands in an appeasing gesture. "You are right though. Having to suspect every one of these little listeners sucks!"

Bakugou decided he had heard enough. Without a sound, he returned to sorting the cleaning supplies and feigned ignorance when Present Mic left for class. An unpleasant feeling spread inside his chest; the same thought circling at the back of his mind.

_Was it really possible?_

All this time, Bakugou hadn't had the chance to voice his concerns. Major events had followed one another in an endless cycle of trouble and danger—everyone too busy to catch a breath, more so worry about inside affairs. Currently, this night was proving to be an unprecedented opportunity. One he wasn't willing to miss. If Uraraka wouldn't give him some straight answers, he would force them out by any means necessary.

"You know. Something has been bothering me for a while." Keeping his hands leisurely in his pockets, Bakugou approached Uraraka. "During Kamino, you said to Kirishima and the other idiots that I'd feel disgraced if they came to help me."

"I did."

"How did you know that?"

Her shoulders tensed but she chuckled. "You aren't very subtle about your dislikes."

"You also said I'm scared of Deku after the end of the term." Her words back then had cut straight through his walls of denial to the core of his issue with the nerd. No one—not even himself—had been really aware of it. "That was awfully perceptive of you."

"You were on such bad terms when you're supposed to be childhood friends. Can you blame my curiosity?"

"It felt more than simple curiosity. It's like you were dissecting me to find what makes me tick."

Uraraka turned around just as he stopped two steps away. "Deku does it too. Haven't seen you confront _him_ about it."

Grabbing the veranda's railing, Bakugou trapped her between his arms. "Deku has been studying me for years—a lost cause really. But you had no reason to do that."

"Why?"

"It doesn't suit your personality."

"That's ridiculous!" She said, flustered. "C' mon, you were so cool in our fight, Bakugou. Like a completely different person! I'd be blind if I didn't wanna learn what sort of hero you want to be."

"And what's the final call?" he asked.

"You're so arrogant that you'd look to satisfy your needs before anyone else's."

"Like you then? You're in the money, aren't you?"

"To help my parents." Her brow furrowed in worry as if someone had presented her with a truth she didn't want to hear. "What's wrong with you?"

"Facepalm also said we are the same. Shackled by society's expectations so we can't do what we want. I wonder how he figured it out from a photo of the award ceremony."

"What are you getting at?"

He leaned closer, leveling his gaze with hers. "You're the mole, right?"

Lowering her head, Uraraka covered her face. Snuffles escaped from behind her hands. It caught him off guard, and Bakugou let go of the railing. For once he wanted to be wrong in his deduction. Learning about All Might's secret had been enough of a blow. If the traitor turned out to be one of them, the class' morale would plummet. He hated nothing more than to be responsible for it again.

But his half-baked apology died in his throat when it became apparent that Uraraka wasn't bawling her eyes out.

She was laughing.

"I didn't think it'd be _that_ easy." Uraraka climbed on the railing. Keeping her balance atop the metal bar, she shot him an icy glare. "Yes, it is me. What're you gonna do about it?" She declared and dropped into the void below.

Bakugou jumped after her. His mind was blank, feeling nothing but the wild beating of his heart. The wind rushed past him. Aided by gravity, his body seemed eager to meet the ground. The fourth floor wasn't such a great distance to cross. He propelled himself forward anyway and collided with Uraraka, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Their entangled bodies touched the ground without any rattling of bones or pain. Before Bakugou could get past the disorientating sensation of gravity returning, Uraraka elbowed him in the neck. Pain erupted in his gut from the follow-up knee. He tried to pin her down, but she slipped away like an eel.

"Come back here!" he growled.

Her laugh echoed all around them as she provoked him to follow. Uraraka dashed into the surrounding trees with Bakugou in tow. Leaves and branches crunched beneath his feet, splinters digging into his bare soles. Bakugou ignored the pain and kept running. Despite the cold, he was already drenched in sweat.

Uraraka maneuvered around the trees with ease; her back always a couple of steps ahead—taunting him. Oh, how much Bakugou wanted to grab her by the shirt and smash her face onto the ground. He could reach her; his hands had warmed up sufficiently from all the running. But he didn't want a drone to alert the teachers like in his fight with Deku. So they continued their little chase, getting further and further away from the dorms. The white clouds escaping Bakugou's mouth got more frequent as he strained himself to keep a good pace. By the looks of it, Uraraka also had trouble doing the same. Her ragged breath was the only sound resonating in the forest.

This pocket of darkness and silence didn't last for long. Uraraka broke through the vegetation into an open area covered with concrete. Streetlamps illuminated the place as if it was some kind of boxing ring. Bakugou could faintly see the shape of a large wall up ahead. According to his calculations, they were close to either mock city A or mock city B. Drones were bound to be lurking there for sure.

_This needs to end here._

Igniting his Quirk just enough to not arouse suspicion, Bakugou leaped over Uraraka. She didn't stop, her eyes following his trajectory.

The moment his bare feet skidded on the concrete in front of her, Uraraka threw a left hook. Bakugou blocked it. He redirected the right one coming his way too. She had such an intense look on her face. Part of him, the rational one always working in the background during fights, noticed her flawless technique. Months of work paying off at the worst possible scenario.

There was something odd though. Sure, Uraraka aimed for his knees or his stomach—spots that would give her the advantage—but made no attempt to use her Quirk. It was as if this was a deliberate physical brawl and for one, Bakugou didn't mind not using his Quirk. It would keep unwanted attention away.

"Why so cautious, Bakugou?" she asked. "Don't you want to revenge? Come at me with all you got!"

Bakugou smacked an open palm on her collarbone. Instead of backpedaling out of breath, Uraraka pounced with a war cry. Wrapping her legs around his arm and shoulder, she dragged him to the ground. His back felt most of the impact. Bakugou didn't let that stop him. Releasing his hand with an explosion, he elbowed Uraraka in the ribs. She had enough spark left to kick him. Bakugou allowed the leg to strike, using it to pull Uraraka under him.

His hands closed around her throat. The muscles in his forearms strained as Bakugou tightened his hold. Her pulse was beating wildly under his fingers, struggling to bring blood to her brain. Uraraka clawed at his hands. The choking sounds were replaced by a piercing whine. Bakugou barely felt her body contorting under him. He could blow her head to bits. Splatter blood all over the pavement. A single explosion was all he needed. That's how frail human bodies were, even for a girl of her tenacity.

No.

Bakugou wouldn't give Uraraka the benefit of a quick death. He'd watch as her walnut doe eyes grow unfocused and empty, life slipping out of them. He'd listen for the final breath when it escaped her cherry lips. He'd feel her heartbeat stopping while her rosy cheeks lose their color. Already Uraraka's movements had gotten slower. She didn't apply the same force as before. Disheveled hair fanned behind her head like a broken halo. And, to Bakugou's surprise, Uraraka caressed his cheek; finger pads scraping roughly against his skin.

"Do it," she mouthed.

A cold weight dropped in his chest as if someone had sucker-punched him there.

"_Why did I have to be the reason for All Might's end?"_

Bakugou had screamed that at the top of his lungs while the stench of smoke and nitroglycerin still lingered in the air. His voice was echoing when Deku had lowered his fists, shocked. Bakugou couldn't bear that expression and had continued to shout his frustration at the road beneath his feet.

_Why am I remembering this now?_

And then it hit him.

_Oh._

His fingers relaxed their hold.

Uraraka coughed violently. Confusion flashed across her eyes as she watched him stand. Bakugou didn't make it to ten steps before he heard the shuffling of her clothes.

"What…" Her voice cracked on the first word, volume lowering while she struggled to continue. "Are you… doing?"

"I can't give you what you want."

"_Why?_" She shouted—raw and strained like a raging tiger.

"I'm not a judge, nor an executioner. And _definitely_ not your damn emotional punching bag!"

"So Deku wasn't yours?"

Bakugou clenched his fists so tight he might as well had stopped his blood circulation. Releasing his fingers, he let a couple of small explosions sparkle in his palms like firecrackers. "I don't try to repeat my mistakes," he said.

"That's rich!" Uraraka sneered. "You can sort _your_ problems through violence and I can't? Is this some kinda privilege only the brightest of our class have?"

"What's happening right now and that situation are _nothing_ alike!"

"Because it wasn't your fault?" Uraraka whispered. "I didn't want any of this, Bakugou. But my parents' lives were in danger."

It puzzled him because of a conversation he had happened to overhear a while ago. "Your parents don't live here," he said.

"They came to Tokyo once. To congratulate me after the Sports Festival and reassure me that I did my best in my fight against you and that they are _oh so_ proud of me."

Her laugh was hollow and emotionless, chilling Bakugou to the bone. He never thought Uraraka was even _able_ to sound like that when she competed with Kirishima for the title of 1-A's Sunshine.

He turned around to find her kneeling on the ground.

"But it was exactly that fight that caught Sensei's eye," she said with a sad smile, not meeting his gaze. "My parents had left for the station, and I had barely closed the front door when Mr. Kurogiri appeared behind me. The hallway was pitch black as if light couldn't reach past his Warping. Had a rough idea where was his body from USJ but before I could do anything, he transported me to Sensei's headquarters. He..." Uraraka rubbed her thumbs over the rest of her finger pads, struggling to find the right words to describe All For One.

"It's okay," Bakugou huffed and took a seat in front of her. "He has that effect on people."

The bastard was a hundred years old and had survived against an All Might in his prime. If anything, All for One's aura alone could bring grown-ass Heroes to their knees. Someone losing his words at his presence would be the least he could do.

"He congratulated me for my strategy and bravery. Said we could both gain from each other if I worked for him. I refused and Sensei… he… he smiled." Her words came out strained as she seemed to relieve the memory. "Before I knew it, I was inside the Central train station. My parents stood at the platform, laughing about something I couldn't hear from the noise of the crowd." She sniffed. "A warp gate opened over their heads. It was a blind spot. The cameras would never see the gun that appeared through the gate. I tried to shout, warn my parents but instead, I started puking some sort of stinky mud and returned to Sensei."

She didn't have to say anything else. It was plain as day what was her answer to his proposal the second time around.

"What did he ask you to do?" he asked.

"The first part of the deal was gathering intel about U.A. and their plans. I couldn't get inside the conference room no matter how much I tried. Thought it'd be easier to remember the layout of the teachers' lounge and sneak in when they weren't there."

"That's why you asked Present Mic to help you with your English homework so much." It had been her go-to excuse whenever she was late for practice.

Uraraka nodded. "Lots of important documents were in their desks. If anyone saw me, I'd say I forgot something. I had timed-out every route to the office perfectly so it happened only a bunch of times."

Bakugou shifted his position. This cold and calculating Uraraka didn't sit right with him. "And what was the other part of the deal?"

"I had to keep an eye on _you_—the League's most fitting candidate. Sensei said it shouldn't be hard. Our fight had made me interesting in your eyes."

Part of Bakugou wanted to deny this statement, but deep down even he could see a slimmer of truth. Uraraka had entered his life like a storm after the Festival. His failed internship with Best Jeanist was still fresh on his mind, so her approach had left him hesitant at first. She was Deku's friend so why couldn't she ask _him_ to be her sparring partner? Having overheard Uraraka's reason to learn martial arts though, Bakugou had given her the benefit of the doubt. He also couldn't wait to see how much she could grow. Their sparring sessions had been challenging and exciting since Uraraka always had a new trick up her sleeve. Over time, this change of pace had maybe lowered his defenses. It hadn't brought them any closer though or so he told himself again and again and _again_. But Bakugou couldn't prevent the sting of betrayal from piercing his heart anyway.

"You stuck to me like glue for the whole damn semester because of some psycho's sick pet project. Great. Just fucking _great_." Bakugou smiled, despite the disgust and horror tingling in his chest. "And when I was ready, you called the dogs to come and fetch me!"

"The only thing I knew was that someone would come and get you off the Camp. But they kidnapped Ms. Ragdoll too." Uraraka fisted the fabric of her pants to stop her hands from shaking. "And I couldn't do anything about it! Just watch and hope no one dies! Yes, you were my mission, Bakugou. But somewhere along the line, I found more people to care about along with my parents. More people to lose, including you. That's why said _that_ to Kirishima. I didn't want anyone else to get hurt!"

"There are Villains, Uraraka. Hurting people is what they do best."

"Mr. Nighteye thought so too," she said. "He became conscious as I was taking him to safety. He couldn't control his Quirk and saw my future. He warned me that I won't be able to save anyone if I continue down this path. For a moment, I thought about dropping him. He wouldn't expose me if he was dead. I would just weep and blame myself for not being quick enough to the other Heroes. Easy peasy." She sniffled, tears shining in her eyes. "Guess he didn't remember a thing in the end. And I… I was relieved for a while. But today, when I saw his face again, everything flooded back and I couldn't take it anymore..."

"So you came to _me_. The one guy ready to beat you bloody for what you've done."

She chuckled softly. "I thought you'll understand. What I didn't expect was the great Bakugou Katsuki going easy on me."

"That's what you call this?" Bakugou scoffed. "Hate to break it to you, Round Face, but I didn't wanna get in trouble for your sorry ass."

Her posture seemed to shrink. "Then what I'm supposed to do?"

Bakugou placed his hands on her shoulders.

The trembling stopped as Uraraka lifted her head. She clenched her hands into fists, anticipating his next move. For what Bakugou had in mind to work, she needed to stand still. So he cupped her infuriating round face.

Uraraka stared back with wide eyes, seemingly out of breath.

Bakugou head-butted her.

Rivulets of pain ran along his forehead from the point of impact. Uraraka's skin was warm against his own as if she had a fever. White spots were dancing across her face like a myriad of stars. When the image cleared up, he noticed how a few golden specks adorned her hazel eyes.

"What's wrong with you?" Uraraka shoved him and folded in two, holding her forehead.

Bakugou mouthed the question and anger flared in his chest. "What's wrong with _you_? Weren't you the one who refused to back down in our fight no matter what?" For once, he managed to keep his tone down and still sound angry enough to consider it shouting. "Didn't you go through all this shit to keep your parents safe? You wanna be a Hero, right? Then face your problems head-on!"

"You are one to talk," she said. "Mr. I-can't-understand-emotions."

"You woke me up in the middle of the night for this shit. Don't sass me, okay?" he said. "Look, all I'm saying is that every fucking idiot in this class is gonna support you. They are persistent like that."

"Why would they? I hurt them! Put everyone in danger! And you got kidnapped because-"

"Don't you _dare_ finish that sentence."

"But-"

"The info you gave them would be useless if I didn't act that way in the first place!" Admitting this shocked him, but he didn't stop. "I realized it during the press conference. Those leeches used my behavior to bring U.A. down. Facepalm tried to use that as a way to convince me too. I was never going to join their stupid clique. Our goals were different. But it made me think." Bakugou stared at his hands. "All my life everyone told me that my Quirk is a Hero's one. I never doubted that fact even when I all I could do was destroying. But the Quirk itself isn't what makes someone a Hero. It's how and for what purpose you use it. I wouldn't have learned that if things had stayed the same."

Uraraka grabbed his wrists, forcing his attention on her. "You would! There are other ways to learn that without almost dying!" Her hold got weaker. "I can't… forgive myself for doing this to you."

Bakugou stared back. Tears dropped on their joined hands like the beginning of a summer storm. "I can't forgive you, Uraraka," he said.

Her head shot up as if he had slapped her, the soft edges of her face twisting into a sorrowful expression. "I understand," she said.

"No, you don't," he grumbled. "You're my rival, dammit! You shouldn't let those weirdos that call themselves Villains give you value. That asshole sure talks big for with a hand on his face!"

"Technically, I was under Sensei's orders."

"All the more reason to not give a shit now! He is behind bars, leaving Facepalm in charge."

It wasn't as simple as he was making it sound. Shigaraki was dangerous with or without his teacher around. For one, he was still on the loose even after attacking an armored convoy and two, his twisted drive to take down All Might still haunted Bakugou's nightmares.

Uraraka closed her eyes. "It's not that easy."

"Yeah. But if there is hope for a bastard like me, there is hope for you too." He stood up, dragging her along. "C' mon, we gotta tell the teachers."

"No, we can't!" She shook her head, vigorously. "What if Sensei has more moles inside U.A.?"

Bakugou rolled his eyes. "Aizawa would rather die than work for scum like All for One and you know it. If he can defend the most-fitting-to-be-a-Villain on national TV, he can listen to what you have to say."

Uraraka rubbed her neck; blue imprints from his fingers had already formed against her pale skin. "What about you, Bakugou? Why help someone that hurt you?"

Sure, saving people without any rewards was more of Deku's style. Bakugou had never considered another person's feelings until he had to go through All Might's retirement. Still, he wasn't angry at her anymore. He was angry at those fuckers for their underhanded methods and having the nerve to use her family like this, but not at Uraraka.

"The number Hero wins _and_ rescues," he said. "Can't be slacking here if that's my goal, right?"

Color returned to her cheeks and Uraraka hummed in agreement.

* * *

They used the road to return in the dorms.

By the time Bakugou could see 1-A's Height Alliance building, his body was showing signs of their fight. Pain pooled around his ankles and forearms in constant subdued drumming. Resisting the urge to wince whenever gravels dug into the bare soles of his feet, Bakugou kept Uraraka in his line of vision. Just to make sure she won't disappear. He was definitely _not_ paying attention to how she clenched and unclenched her hands in front of her.

The cold marble steps of the entrance and the relief they offered didn't last long. Bakugou and Uraraka crossed the lounge in silence. Up ahead, a blue light glowed from underneath the closed door of Aizawa's room—signaling their teacher was still awake.

Bakugou raised his hand to knock.

"Wait," Uraraka said.

A bruise had started taking shape on her forehead. It diverted Bakugou's attention, making him wonder for a moment if they should put ice on it. Then he caught her uncertain stare.

"Told you there is nothing to worry," he said. "Don't run on me."

"That's not it." Her voice remained steady for the first time that night. "Can you come with me?"

"Why?"

"I don't know if I can do this again." She looked down. "Would you mind lending me some of your strength?"

The universe sure liked laughing at his face in the most ironic ways. She had held onto this secret for so long and after so many hardships while he was still trying to fill in the gaps of his shattered pride and arrogance with more meaningful things. Bakugou wished to have a word with the one responsible for his fate and blast their face to smithereens.

"Fine," he said. "But only because I wanna see this to the end."

Uraraka smiled, brightening the room as if the sun had decided to rise early. "Can I hold your hand?"

"If you ask me another damn thing, I'm throwing you inside without a word."

Bakugou clasped her hand and allowed her to lace their fingers. The contact made him hyper-aware of her slight trembling but he didn't comment on it.

Uraraka took a deep breath, restoring her game-on face. Yeah, it pissed him off at how lightly she believed in her own strength.

He knocked, letting the chips fall where they may.

They were two broken people standing at the edge of the unknown together, and damn if they wouldn't try their hardest to set this right.

* * *

**A/N: This was a fic born out of stress tbh. Back when chapter 168 was about to be released, there was a lot of speculation if it was going to be about the rumored traitor. Even the person providing the spoilers/raws was leaving cryptic tweets, riling up the fandom. I was very worried that the traitor would turn out to be _Uraraka_ and break my heart because I had read the theory on the matter and it seemed pretty plausible. So I quickly typed down some thoughts I had. Thankfully, it turned out to be a false alarm but I couldn't get this story out of my head. **

**Looking at the end result, I'm still not sure if this is considered platonic or romantic Kacchako. I'll let you guys decide that for yourselves. Meanwhile, I'll enjoy having this beast done. ^w^**


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